A Most Satisfying Swim - Club Mendoza de Regatas

Mendoza is a city of about a million people, located at the base of the Andes in the heart of Argentina's wine country. If anyone is passing through the city of Mendoza and feels like taking a swim, rowing a boat, doing some taekwondo, or maybe taking some flamenco lessons, I would recommend going to the Club Mendoza de Regatas (CMR). While staying in Medoza, Holly and I woke up too late to take an excursion into the mountains, so instead we got a day pass to CMR. I don't know if there is an equivalent in the United States, but CMR is a country club/YMCA/Jewish Community Center that is located on an artificial lake in a huge park in the center of the city. The place is massive; with several basketball and vollyball courts, weightrooms, saunas and steamrooms, men's and women's hair salons, a tenis de mesa (ping-pong) room, and an onsite nurse (more about her later). The building itself overlooks an Olympic-size swimming pool, the artificial lake at the center of the park and has a very exclusive air about it. You can check out their website here: http://www.cmregatas.com.ar/inicio.htm

Holly and I got there at about two o'clock in the afternoon, after buying bus tickets at the omnibus terminal and walking through the park for a while. The day was beautiful and sunny, and I was hankering for a swim, so we paid the one-day fee and got our stamped daypasses. Then we both went to our respective lockerooms to change into out bathing suits for the day. After putting our stuff on some chairs in a grassy area outside the pool, I took my daypass and attempted to enter the pool area by myself. Then all hell broke loose.

The pool attndent, who had a deep tan and a nicely permed mullet, informed me that there was a problem with my day pass. I fumbled through a few rudimentary questions and answers until he went to go grab a lifeguard who spoke a little English. Here is how that dialogue went:

Lifeguard: "You need...como se dice...umm...dog? You need see dog."
Me: "No entiendo."

Lifeguard: "You need see dog." (while making a gesture at his foot)

Me: "Umm...no entiendo."
Lifeguard: "You understand?"
Me: "I understand everything except for the 'dog' part."

At this point, he tells the attendent to show me what I need to do, so I follow the attendent out of the pool area. Wearing only my bathing suit, I am escorted back into the building, through a series of hallways, and to a door with medical-looking jargon posted on it. The attendent knocks on the door, and a young nurse wearing a lab coat answers. The attendent says something to her, and the nurse beckons me inside. She then closes the door and tells me to sit on the examining table. I am starting to get worried.

I have no idea why I am here. A minute ago, I was ready to go for a swim. Now, I am sitting on an examining table, wearing nothing but my bathing suit, and some nurse is writing something about me on some chart. Then the nurse motions for me to put my feet up on the table, which I interpret as "lie down, please." I do as I am told, lie down on the table, and worry about how far I should let this go without saying something. If her next words are "Please take down your shorts," I'm going to have to say somthing. The nurse notices my hesitation, smiles, and somehow lets me know that she just wants to take a look between my fingers and toes and under my armpits. I spread my toes and fingers for her, and then it then hits me that she is just checking whether I have some sort of fungus problem that would make me a risk for entering the pool. I pass the fungus check with flying colors. The nurse stamps and signs my daypass and happily sends me on my way.

So, after I had been medically cleared to enter the pool, there was just one more hurdle I had to get over before I would be permitted to swim. When I gave the attendent my newly stamped card indicating that I was fungus-free, he pointed to his lovely perm and said something else. I was about to blow my stack. Luckily, Holly was there to help me with this one. By this point, many employees had gathered around the pool entrance to see what was going on. The problem was that I needed a bathing cap. Holly asked where we were supposed to get the bathing caps, and they told her that there was a shop in the clubhouse. She then eloquently explained that we had paid good money to get into this place for one day, all we wanted to do was swim, and we would not be purchasing any bathing caps.

One of the employees then said that he could hook us up with loaner caps. We were both relieved, until he busted out in English, "Ten dollars!" I looked at him for a second, then he slapped me on the back and started laughing. I went with him to get the caps, and at the end of the ordeal he told me that my Spanish was good.

After we finally sorted everything out, I did a few laps, did a little people watching, tome un poco de sol, and generally had a most satisfying swim.

(Upon further reflection, we believe that when the lifeguard told me that I needed to see "dog," he was trying to tell me that I needed to see a "doc". This would fall in line with our theory that the people of Argentina have a strange obsession with a certain trilogy starring Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd. This would not be the first time an Argentine has inexplicably referenced Back to the Future. Some guy named Marty introduced himself to Holly at a bar and, when she asked him again what his name was, he replied "Marty. Like Marty McFly.")